It’s been snowing for 47 months. 

Well, something like that.

I’ve now been on both ends of the extreme: endless sticky summers and never-ending bone-chilling winters. And I can tell you with complete certainty that I prefer winter. I don’t know why. Something in my DNA makes my body respond strongly to being hot. I can’t think straight. I feel trapped. My hair frizzes and my pores ooze sweat. 

REGARDLESS: it can stop snowing whenever.

I joined a writing group. It is directly responsible for this blog post and any writing I’ve been doing for the past three months (thanks Nina and Julie!) 

Rue is three. Did you know three-year-olds are ridiculous? She turned three and two things happened almost immediately:

  1. she started saying “ugh, FIIIINE” whenever I ask her to do something.
  2. she had her first full out public tantrum. I’m talking throwing herself on the floor, kicking and screaming, unable to breathe. To be fair, I did try to leave the zoo. Nobody likes to leave the zoo. 

I was thinking about posting the whole tantrum thing on social media in the spirit of transparency and not only posting our picture perfect moments. But I was just too tired. This is why that shit doesn’t wind up on instagram: we’re far too exhausted to share the messy stuff. 

Speaking of social media, I’ve neglected the blog, I’ve given up on Facebook, and I’ve traded them both in for Instagram stories. I mean, I watched Mandy Moore climb Kilimanjaro (hashtag sponsored by hashtag eddie bauer,  but still)! And tapped with bated breath as Busy Phillips awaited the fate of the stuffed bears her daughter left in Hawaii. WHAT. A TIME.

I’ve thrown out all my jeans with a waist lower than 9 inches. I vividly remember my mother telling me that your jeans should never come below your belly button. It was the Britney Spears era and I probably laughed in her face. 

Cut to today and I’m rapidly refreshing madewell dot com to see if they’ve released 12 inch rise jeans yet. So far, they’re still at 11. 

I saw all of the Best Picture nominees before the Oscars, and I highly recommend this as a way to feel productive while doing almost nothing. I got a MoviePass (unlimited movies for $9.99/month) and I’ve seen more movies this year than I have in the past decade, I’m positive. My favorite movie was Get Out, followed closely by Call Me By Your Name.

Speaking of Call Me By Your Name, I listened to the audiobook after watching the movie. I loved it while also wanting to claw my eyes out, mainly because it was so relatable. It was like my high school brain, with a crush, narrated by Armie Hammer. He smiled at me! That means he likes me. Wait, maybe he’s smiling because he doesn’t like me. Wait, now he’s ignoring me. He hates me. Or does he like me? He just blinked twice. He’s in love with me! Or does he hate me? 

It was also SUPER racy. I felt very…rebellious? pulling up to daycare pickup with my speakers blaring things like “I RUBBED MY FACE IN HIS DIRTY BATHING SUIT AND THEN HAD SEX WITH A PEACH” (paraphrase/spoiler, sry)

Well on that note… that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Is anyone still out there? Or are you all on Instagram stories now?