So I have this, um, friend.
Last summer, she became familiar with a little band called Alabama Shakes. For the next year, she listened to them on and off. She liked them a lot, but never felt moved to Google them and somehow never saw a performance online. She didn't need to see them though, she had a pretty good mental image of the lead singer: a too-thin hipster with a big beard. Maybe even one of those twisty mustaches. The beard was red. Definitely red. And he wore a lot of flannel and maybe a University of Alabama baseball cap. Ironically, of course.
Editor's note: this is the lead singer of Alabama Shakes:
On Friday, my friend procured an extra ticket to an Alabama Shakes concert that Sunday. She spent the next few days listening to their album in anticipation.
As she was standing in the crowd behind a group of college potheads (you should have seen the size of their joints... ahem, at least my friend says so. Yeah. She saw them. Not me.), she realized she had never seen a picture of the band about to take the stage. So she decided to Google them.
"Wait," she said, "the lead singer is a woman?"
"CHEEEEETOSSSSSSSS," said the collegiate scholars in front of her.
"Um, yes?" her companion told her, "The lead singer is Brittany."
My friend had a sudden flashback to that afternoon, as she was driving with the windows down, listening to the band. "There must be someone up above," sang the mustachioed lead singer, "saying 'come on Brittany!'"
Did he say Brittany? my friend thought mildly. That's a weird name for a guy. Is he maybe talking about Britney Spears? Brit could probably use guidance from above. Meh, I'm probably just mishearing the lyric.
At the concert she said, "Ohhhhhhhh." Suddenly, the world made sense. She liked Alabama Shakes a teeny bit more after this revelation... and felt mildly stupid.
I mean, I think she did. I wouldn't know.