celebrity baby names are important, right?



Last week, I started to register for a young professionals networking event, but I couldn't make it past question 3: tell us about something you are an expert in.

I thought about this for days, but as it turns out... I'm an expert in nothing. There are things I would like to be an expert in, sure: Cheese. American presidents. Wine. World War II. Middle Eastern politics. I read books and articles about these things. 

But ask anyone that knows me: my memory is, well, broken? Some would call it borderline creepy. 

I'll remember what color shirt you were wearing at that restaurant we went to on a random Tuesday, and I'll remember your cousin's ex girlfriend's name that you briefly mentioned -- by the way, how did she do in that marathon you told me she was running 2 months ago? -- but I have trouble remembering the plots of TV shows or the details of articles that I read. Sometimes I'll hear something fascinating on NPR, try to tell Y about it 5 minutes later, and realize I can't remember what I just heard. 

Thanks to this tendency to retain only incredibly useless information, the things on which I can call myself an expert are few and far between. 

But I think we can all agree that they are oh-so-important:

  • The birthdays of all three Hanson brothers.
  • U.S. state capitals.
  • Celebrity baby names
  • Plot details of all of the Baby Sitters' Club books
  • The words to the rap at the end of Waterfalls by TLC (I seen a rainbow yesterday, but too many storms have come and gone leavin' no trace of not one god-given ray...)
  • Mall directions (I always know where I am in a mall. Even the Mall of America. That's kind of impressive, right? Just say yes.)
I didn't go to that networking event -- I didn't even finish registering -- but I'll bet the people that did go have no idea who Kristy Thomas is, and why her great idea was so important.

Idiots.