Last week, I started to register for a young professionals networking event, but I couldn't make it past question 3: tell us about something you are an expert in.
I thought about this for days, but as it turns out... I'm an expert in nothing. There are things I would like to be an expert in, sure: Cheese. American presidents. Wine. World War II. Middle Eastern politics. I read books and articles about these things.
But ask anyone that knows me: my memory is, well, broken? Some would call it borderline creepy.
I'll remember what color shirt you were wearing at that restaurant we went to on a random Tuesday, and I'll remember your cousin's ex girlfriend's name that you briefly mentioned -- by the way, how did she do in that marathon you told me she was running 2 months ago? -- but I have trouble remembering the plots of TV shows or the details of articles that I read. Sometimes I'll hear something fascinating on NPR, try to tell Y about it 5 minutes later, and realize I can't remember what I just heard.
Thanks to this tendency to retain only incredibly useless information, the things on which I can call myself an expert are few and far between.
But I think we can all agree that they are oh-so-important:
- The birthdays of all three Hanson brothers.
- U.S. state capitals.
- Celebrity baby names
- Plot details of all of the Baby Sitters' Club books
- The words to the rap at the end of Waterfalls by TLC (I seen a rainbow yesterday, but too many storms have come and gone leavin' no trace of not one god-given ray...)
- Mall directions (I always know where I am in a mall. Even the Mall of America. That's kind of impressive, right? Just say yes.)