the pros & cons of winter

+ I wear tights basically every day, therefore I feel justified buying new tights every other day. I even have the same tights as Sasha Obama. Nothing makes me feel more validated than having the same tights as a VIT (very important tween).


+ I keep a pack of bottled water in my car; I always have ice cold water in my car. Sometimes I even just have bottled ice in my car.

- All of the scarves and giant coats I've got going on are seriously messing with my peripheral vision. The hats covering my ears are messing with my sense of hearing. I'm down to three senses, and my fingers have gone numb enough times that I'm considering removing "touch" as well. 

- Putting on and taking off all of said scarves and giant coats results in at least one lost earring every wardrobe change.

-It's dark all the time, and people wear ski masks even when they aren't robbing banks. Add that to not being able to see over my shoulder or hear anything (see above) and that leads to me being paranoid on a daily basis.

-Speaking of paranoia: my jacket hanging on the back of my office door looks like a person hiding there. It fools me EVERY time. Well played, evil jacket.

Do you see it? Please tell me it's not just me.


- I have had no less than 3 nightmares about my white dog getting loose and getting lost in the snow camouflage.


+ Walking out of a gym, covered in sweat, into a 3 degree day is just plain INVIGORATING.

+ The only person I've ever seen shovel snow in my life is the creepy neighbor turned hero from Home Alone. THUS, every time I see someone shoveling snow, I think of Home Alone.



- Winter in a blue state: these f-ing liberal hippies assume I want my groceries in paper bags, which always manage to touch snow, get wet, and disintegrate.... leaving me with a pile of groceries in the snow.

- I can handle the constant static electricity shocks. What I can't handle is the pitiful face Ike makes when he gets shocked every two minutes. 


Snow looks like this:


- Snow looks like this: