the perks of being me

Being married to a medical student has its perks. Like, um, access to the student lounge in case I ever get a hankering to beat Y in a game of ping pong (Fun fact: we spent half a day on our honeymoon playing ping pong in a resort in Ireland. I won. Every time.) Another perk: looking forward to rolling around in piles of money someday.*

*That was a joke. I plan to ski down my piles of money, Scrooge McDuck style:

But really, I figured out the one thing worth bragging about. You know all those times you think you might have a mystery animal living under your floorboards, and you know this because your dog spends scary long amounts of time sniffing the floor? And then you start dreaming about snakes bursting through holes in the wall or foxes making their way into your doggie door and eating your Ike?

Well, in such scenarios, I have a stethoscope with which I can listen to the floor. You don't.

By the way, on auscultation sharp scratches are present bilaterally, grade 3/6 clawing heard in the left lower living room, will follow up with radiographs to confirm probable rodent colonization. I wrote that all by myself.